Ah green flags! Who doesn’t love those, am I right?
‘What is a green flag?’ some of you might ask. Literally the opposite of a red flag. Green flags are positive signs that the relationship is consensual, safe and has possibilities to grow both individually as well as together from personality to qualities and feelings.
When I started dating my partner I remember thinking this man sure is a walking green flag haha! In no way am I saying he’s perfect but he was intentional and honest with me from the get go, he communicated very well. You want a partner that holds those qualities because trust me they’re important, especially in the long run.
When you’re first starting to get to know someone and you mutually agree that you’re looking for something more than friendship then it’s confirmed that he’s pursuing you. There’s nothing wrong with a woman pursuing a man, if you have the confidence then go for it, but it is known traditionally for men to pursue women. With that said, if you feel like you’re trying harder than him to make the relationship work, especially in the early stages, it’s imaginable that’s how the rest of the relationship is going to play out. You’ll be running after him. You don’t need that.
I’ll tell you what an intentional man does, he wants to get to know you and that means spending time with you. He’ll take you out on dates instead of always inviting you over to his place. He’s making an effort to see you, do not let him manipulate you. A man that’s looking for something serious is going to step up, he won’t invite you over to his place “because he’s too tired to go out.” When you have high standards, he’s either going to pursue you because he’s serious or leave because he wasn’t looking for a relationship in the first place. I would strongly advise you not to go over a man’s place the first few months you’re getting to know him no matter how exciting it seems, it’s so easy to get sucked in by a man’s words especially when you’re in their space and next thing you know, you’re doing things you didn’t think you would so soon.
How he communicates also gives away how he feels about you. If he wants to get to know you and feels comfortable and confident enough to share parts of his life like his past, his present and his family that means he has feelings for you. It’s bonus points when he talks about his future and mentions you in it. For instance he may mention that he loves to travel and would love to take you to his favorite cities in the future or something as sentimental as talking about how he can’t wait for you to meet his family. The purpose of a relationship is for the two of you to share experiences together, to grow together and love each other deeply. Trust me you would rather be with someone who over communicates than someone who barely does. You don’t want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who barely gives you the time of day, who only gets excited to talk to you when you talk about anything sex related. Imagine having a bad day and wanting to share that with your person and here he is wanting to know what you’re wearing. No.
This is a major one. A man who is interested in you will always make time for you. Now I understand that we all have a life to live, we get busy and distracted but IF HE IS COMFORTABLE CONSISTENTLY GOING ALL DAY WITHOUT TEXTING OR CALLING YOU, DELETE HIS NUMBER. I remember telling my partner in the early stages of our relationship that he didn’t have to get back to me or text back immediately, I understood that he was busy. To be honest I was just trying to protect myself, before him guys would consistently text back for about a week and then stop communicating for a day that sometimes turned into a week and I allowed it. So in order to save myself from heartbreak I told him from the get go that I was okay with him getting back to me when he had time. He then responded that I was his main priority now and that he would always get back to me as soon as he could and till this day he still does. I wasn’t feeling too well when I went to bed last night, he made time the next day at work to call and find out if I was feeling better. It’s really little things like that that shows that he cares for you and is willing to make time for you. You deserve to be prioratized.
Reassurance. That’s all. That’s the sentence.
Now you may have gone through at least one traumatic relationship. I know I have, I got lied to, cheated on and disrespected. Getting out of a relationship like that makes you question the next person. A man who is serious about you will take your well being seriously especially your mental health. Failed relationships can really affect you. A man who adores you is going to want to protect and reassure you at least until you heal. The right person for you is not going to complain about how insecure you are or let you figure out your insecurities on your own, he’ll help because when you’re doing good, so is your relationship.
How he treats the women in his life says a lot about the kind of man he is. If he respects them, loves and protects them that should give you an idea of how he’ll treat you. If he’s comfortable insulting the women in his life just know that it’ll only be a matter of time before he does the same to you.
A man who loves and respects you would never manipulate or force you to be intimate with him not even in the slightest, he’ll respect your decision to wait. Sex is a very serious and sacred gift from God, don’t let our generation fool you into thinking hookups are cool or that you’re only being reckless “this once”. It takes just one person to have soul ties with for a very long time and what happens when they’re not good people? It’s damaging. Love and respect yourself enough to say no to someone who doesn’t respect your values. I know it’s easier said than done, especially with our generation. It seems if you’re together at least two months and you haven’t taken it to the next step yet, you might lose him. If you’re having those thoughts then he was never meant to keep. You’d be surprised how long the right one would wait for you.
Always keep a look out for flags when you’re dating. Believe me when I tell you this, there is better out there for you. Truly.
If you’re with someone who ticked all the boxes in the green flag department try to appreciate him as often as you can. Good men are hard to find and you’re lucky if you found yourself one.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you.
xoxo Shernice
