Therapy..
1. “Just because someone is older or in a higher position than you does not give them reason to treat you poorly.”
I think Africans can relate to this, you’re reminded from a young age that you have no opinion or comment when you’re in conflict with an adult, they are never wrong. You end up apologizing for things that you didn’t do and carrying that into adulthood is even worse because then it looks like you have no backbone. You need to speak up for yourself and you need to start somewhere, practice with someone that you trust and feel comfortable with. You’ll get tested and might fail a few times but keep going until you have the confidence to express yourself when you’re done wrong.
2. “You can not control what people do or how they do things, you can only control yourself and how you respond”
How you treat people says a lot about who you are as a person and sometimes people are going to test your character. You can’t control what they do or how they react but you can control how you respond to it.
3. “Just because they get upset doesn’t mean you did something wrong”
Always remember this, people aren’t always going to be happy with the choices or decisions that you make, it doesn’t mean that you did or said anything wrong, it just means they don’t agree with you. Follow your gut and stand firm in what you do/say.
4. “When you assume what someone else is thinking you are projecting your feelings. You are not allowing them to have their own view on the situation. It is important to let people form their own opinions because often times your assumptions are not accurate.
Instead of being in your head over what you think someone else thinks about you or a situation, why not just have a conversation with them and find out for yourself? Instead we create a false scenario and make ourselves feel worse over things that aren’t even there. Save yourself the anxiety and talk to them.
5. “Jumping to conclusion can add to your anxiety because it adds to the worry you hold that someone is judging you or forming a negative opinion of your situation.”
6. “If you want it you would make time”
Whatever you want out of life you have to work and make time for.
7. “Having a voice falls in line with saying no”
Again, practice having difficult conversations with someone that you love and trust, the more you practice, the better you get at it. You start having a voice and feeling confident and before you know it, you won’t be taking any nonsense from anyone. If you have anxiety or if you’re an introvert, it does take more time for us to confidently say no but don’t stop practicing. Also, side note.. you are allowed to say no without giving a reason, try it.
8. “As an anxious person connecting with others will help you boost your mood and confidence in the world around you”
9. “You should be able to make decisions and be okay with it.”
Don’t be concerned about what the other person wants or what they think is the right decision. Do what you want, make your decision and stick to it.
10. “Strangers are outside your comfort zone, you’ll get there but you have to be good in your regular world first and the strangers will come more easily.”
11. “You can move on even if the person or people who wronged you never acknowledge their part.”
This is a tough one but it’s possible. Staying mad at people who have wronged you will only turn you into a bitter person. Heal and move on, you shouldn’t have to live in the past.
I hope this touches anyone who needs it.
xoxo Shernice
