Kayaking with Jesus

 Let me tell you about the day Jesus became my best friend

I was in a foreign country ALONE! Instead of being my usual self, which is normally panicky, anxious and worried, I was surprisingly calm. Now if you know me personally, you know that I literally panic over everything. I overthink and worry over things that sometimes really aren’t there.

So I said a little prayer:”Lord, I know you must have Archangel Micheal next to me cause there ain’t no way I’m ever this calm, thank you” That’s not what I really said at the time, just adding a little humor.

First week in America my new friends and I went kayaking, I had no idea what it was. I just put on my swimsuit (a cute one at that) and followed the girls. We had so much fun, in that moment I was grateful that I knew how to swim because I probably wouldn’t have gotten in the river, even with a lifejacket on.

Eventually the other young ladies got tired and went back to land. I grabbed a kayak and went back into the water by myself. I went somewhere quiet so I wouldn’t be disturbed because I wanted to have a conversation with Jesus and boy did we talk. That day I learned to talk to Jesus without feeling uncomfortable, I wasn’t worried about who might hear me, I talked! Made hand gestures and everything, there were moments I laughed and even cried. A whole conversation.

That day my relationship with Jesus changed. I chose to trust and believe that the Lord would always be by my side throughout what I thought would be a lonesome stay in America.

I asked so much from Jesus that day. I asked Him to cover me with the holy spirit especially on days that I felt the loneliest. I asked Him to find a way for me to stay permanently in America (it seemed impossible at the time). I asked Him to give me tough skin in a country that can be incredibly cruel if you remain soft. God listened to every word that I said. I thought, no I hoped that everything would just be handed to me but it wasn’t. .

He said that He was going to help me, but..

There was a but..

He was going to stay by my side but I would be the loneliest I had ever been, I needed to trust that He was always there. I’m not kidding when I tell you that I’ve never felt the Lord’s absence since my arrival in America. I had days when I felt lonely and physically had no one to talk to but that’s when I felt the Holy Spirit the most which had me tear up because He really was there with me.

He said I could stay in America but I would have to sacrifice not seeing my family for 4 to 5 years and on top of that figure how I would make ends meet as a foreigner. 2020 was a tough year for me, it was the same year I had to decide wether I was going to stay or go home. I missed my family so much but I felt guilty for wanting to visit home after I had asked God to stay. I wanted both sides of my bread buttered. Permanently stay in America and get to visit South Africa whenever I wanted. It didn’t happen. I complained less, cried less and continued to build my life here, and every year it got easier.

Jesus said that if I wanted to have thick skin I needed to understand what it took to have one, so I had all kinds of people walk all over me, family, colleagues, you name it. And I took it every time, crying in the shower became my new normal. I just could not for the life of me SPEAK UP! My old job drained me, I cried almost everyday. Months after I quit was when it hit me that this was Jesus testing me. So many lessons were learned there.

I realized with every bad situation comes a lesson

So I stopped asking Jesus why bad things were happening to me and instead asked Him what He was trying to teach me. This right here changed everything for me, when I stopped blaming Jesus for everything that went wrong in my life.

If He easily gave us everything that we desire, we would not appreciate Him.

Don’t focus on the negative as you’re walking in your journey because you’ll barely make it half way, focus on the end result instead.

Have faith in the Lord, that’s all He wants from us.

He loves you

xoxo Shernice