Welcome back to my married young series. A letter to newly weds concludes this series. If you haven’t read the previous ones, I highly recommend you start with them first and end with this one. I’ll have them listed below:
- Are you making the right choice?
- This is what you need to understand about weight gain in marriage
- Your home is your sanctuary
- Q&A with my husband
A letter to newly weds
This is a big step you’re about to take or have already taken. I want you to know with all the excitement that you and everyone around you have, it’s okay to be anxious as well. It’s okay to be uncomfortable, feel a little out of place especially if this is your first time living together. I’m from from South Africa and my husband is American, we were raised completely different. Our cultural background are different, some of our beliefs were different, and even down to the food that we ate. I was afraid that we would struggle to co-exist because of these reasons.
The best advice I could give you is be open to understand your partner and to do it with patience. I can’t decide if the first year of marriage is the easiest or the hardest. That’s when you and your spouse get to know each other, see how the other person is behind closed doors, and that could be exciting or frustrating. I leaned more towards excitement, there was so much that my husband and I learned about one another. But guess what, that never stops, there’s always something new to learn about your spouse.
There are also lots of compromises that are made. My husband prefers all the lights in our home either off or dimmed when he gets home from work at night. And I like a bright house, I prefer all the lights on. My husband blasts the Air Conditioning to a point where it feels like winter in our home and I would much rather have it off, so we compromise. I could add a lists of things, but what I’m trying to say is work together, always try working on finding solutions that benefit the both of you.
Arguments are going to happen, and how you communicate will dictate how strong your relationship will end up being. Try to focus on the subject that you’re disagreeing about, don’t bring up things from the past that will most likely take you ten steps back instead of solving the current problem. Also, watch how you speak to one another. You shouldn’t have to yell or scream to bring your point across, respect one another, it goes a long way.
It’s important to have ‘me’ time. Do things that you love by yourself or with other people. You don’t want to lose yourself in marriage, it’s important to have an identity apart from being someone’s husband or wife.
Tough times will test your marriage, stand strong together don’t let anything or anyone set you apart. Remain prayerful and always stand by one another. If the thought of being unfaithful to your spouse ever crosses your mind remember that things will never be the same if you cheat even if they choose to forgive you, so don’t even risk it. It’s not worth it.
Enjoy your marriage, enjoy one another and the new life you’re building together. Make unforgettable memories and always give thanks to God for what you have and what He’s about to bless you and your spouse with.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my married young series.
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