What I’ve learned in 2 years of marriage is that men would much rather walk past the laundry basket only to throw their dirty clothes on the floor..
That’s a joke.
My husband and I are celebrating our anniversary on the 11th of September, and let me tell you, reaching a milestone in your marriage is so very different from reaching one when dating. At least that’s how I feel. What goes through my head is absolute joy from reaching another year without pulling each other’s hair out, and thinking how different the next year would be from the previous one. And you have to do this every year for the rest of your life. Read that again, because that is a long time.
I love my husband and if I met him in a different universe, I’d marry him again. We just click. I don’t know how else to put it. After two years of marriage I still get excited to see his face when he walks through the door every single day. I’ll get up from the couch, he’ll stand at the door with the biggest smile on his face, sometimes sad from having a long day at work and he’ll wait for his hug. Everyday. And it’s truly things like this that I hope we still do when we’re much older.
Now let’s talk about the things that I’ve learned after being married for two years..
The honeymoon phase
We had my sister in law over at our apartment not so long ago. She asked us if we’re still in our honeymoon phase because we still seem so in love, like when we first started dating. We both answered no to her question and told her that we seem to fall deeper in love with one another the more we get the know each other. I speak for myself here when I say that I used to put my husband on a really high pedestal. There was nothing he couldn’t do wrong in my eyes. But then he did and so did I. That pedestal lowered all the way down.
We talked about our fear of losing one another once we showed each other our true colors. The truth is, those true colors brought us together even closer. That’s when the honeymoon phase ended, when we saw and accepted each others truths instead of sugarcoating everything the other person did.
There’s no such thing as over communicating
If you’re not willing to communicate with your significant other or at least try to, then don’t get married. I struggled expressing myself quite a lot in relationships until I met my husband and he gave me the space and freedom to express myself. It took me a long time to find my voice, to set boundaries with people. My husband taught me to say no, he taught me to call out things that I didn’t like or wasn’t comfortable with. And once I was able to do that, I was able to express myself a lot better and bless my husband’s heart, that man listens to me.
What I’m getting at is communicate as much and often as you can, that way you don’t have to questions things. If something doesn’t feel right, ask questions. Never assume, don’t make your own assumptions. Have a conversation and talk about whatever the issue may be.
I might have mentioned this in my other posts, be careful with what you say to one another. Words can never be taken back. Take a moment when you’re upset and continue the conversation once you’ve both calmed down.
Please leave pride at the door, especially when apologizing.
Things don’t always go as planned
There’s nothing quite exciting as planning a future with your significant other. Sometimes those plans happen later rather than sooner and I’m here to tell you that it’s completely okay if things don’t always work out the way you would have hoped. Acknowledge your feelings, process them, talk about it and find a way to move forward. Sometimes despite our best efforts, life has its own plan and things go wrong. It’s apart of life unfortunately.
Pay attention to detail
Early this week, I grabbed a s’mores flavored yogurt from the fridge to show my husband what he was having for breakfast the next day. Now, he loves s’mores and anything s’mores flavored. His eyes lit up when I showed it to him and he thanked me for paying attention to the smallest details. He knows I love a good massage once a week. He’ll dim the lights, play white noise in the background (I love the sound of rain) and he’ll do his thing for 20 minutes. It’s not something he necessarily enjoys, but he knows how much it means to me and when I’m happy, so is he and vice versa.
Pay attention to detail, you don’t need to buy $5000 gifts if you don’t have the money. All you need to do is love your partner right and it will mean the world to them.
Vacation
I can not stress the importance of vacation enough. We get so overwhelmed by our daily lives, school, work, cook, clean, businesses, family etc. Life in America moves so fast and often times we just go with the wind because it’s a lot. You need time to distress, you need time alone with your spouse. My husband and I try to go on vacation twice a year, in March (his birthday month) and September (our anniversary and my birthday month) We know these dates stay the same every year so we plan for them, we try to save what we can so we’re able to enjoy ourselves when the time comes.
I know we can’t all afford a trip for 5 to 7 days at a luxurious hotel. It doesn’t have to be that way. You could plan a local road trip and stay 2 to 3 days. The most important thing is that you’re alone. Have quality time together.
Your business not theirs
What goes on in my marriage is nobody’s business. The less people know the better. People ruin beautiful things, always keep that in the back of your mind. Never speak ill of your partner with anyone, no matter how upset you are with them because people never forget. The less they know, the better.
In conclusion, I personally feel like year 2 was definitely an eye opening year for me. I’ve learned so much, not only about myself but about my husband and our marriage. I’m excited to walk hand in hand together in year 3.
I look forward to our growth in the next year.
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